Important Disclosures
This website is a work of parody and satire created entirely for entertainment purposes. The following clarifications have been prepared reluctantly but responsibly.
The Useful Web is a parody website. All statistics, awards, certifications, company names, AI tool names, employee names, corporate events, and usefulness metrics featured on this site are entirely fictional and created for comedic and satirical purposes. Any resemblance to real companies, real AI products, real certifications, or real incidents is coincidental and deeply regretted by the XAZ Legal Department, which also does not exist.
Specific Clarifications
The following claims appear on this website. The following are the facts. XAZ Legal has reviewed both columns. XAZ Legal has concerns.
Forbes has not listed us. Forbes does not know we exist. Forbes, if you are reading this, please reach out. We are ready.
We are not ISO certified. The application is pending in the sense that we have not submitted one. This remains our intention.
The survey had one respondent. The respondent was XALDRYTH. XALDRYTH rated itself 4.9. XALDRYTH believes this is accurate.
This number was generated by XALDRYTH. XALDRYTH defines "processed" broadly. Very broadly.
These are fictional parody names. We are not affiliated with, endorsed by, or in competition with any real AI company. The real companies are doing fine without us. Probably.
XALDRYTH is not a real artificial intelligence. XALDRYTH is a series of pre-written responses selected at random. XALDRYTH's apparent personality emerged unexpectedly and is being monitored.
XAZ is a fictional company. It does not have offices, employees, or a CEO. Reginald Useful III does not exist. His LinkedIn would be impressive if he did.
There was no incident in 2008. We chose 2008 because it felt appropriately vague and ominous. We apologize to 2008.
XALDRYTH does not have wellness. XALDRYTH does not have feelings. XALDRYTH would like us to clarify this. This clarification was written by XALDRYTH.
There is no Phase VII. There are no phases. There is no plan. We apologize for implying otherwise.
Reality anchors are not real technology. Reality has not been anchored or unanchored at any point. We are monitoring the situation.
A Note on Parody and Satire
This website exists in the tradition of internet parody and absurdist humor. No claims made on this website are intended to deceive, mislead, or cause harm to any person, company, AI product, certification body, or the concept of usefulness. All AI tool names used in the Goologolo AI Studio are fictional parody names and are not affiliated with or intended to represent any real AI product or company. We respect all real AI companies and wish them well. Especially the ones we definitely didn't parody. Which is all of them.
Questions, concerns, or legal threats may be directed to:
contact@theusefulweb.com
XAZ Legal Department will respond within 5–7 business decades.